There once lived a man next to a mighty and beautiful mountain. When the man was a kid, he was told by his father that he needed to grow older before taking a journey to the peak of the mountain. He needed to get stronger first.
From many travelers he heard stories of the breathtaking beauty of the outlook from that peak. He was dreaming of the day where he could see it with his own eyes. So he started asking people: How did make that climb and what did you see?
Over the years he asked one hundred people and they all told stories of exhaust, intense physical stress, fear of falling, bleeding hands and aching feet. Every one choose a bit of a different path but all reported an intense feeling of happiness when they arrived on the top. And they described the amazing view which they shall never forget.
When the boy was old enough, his father said: Son, if you wish so, you can now embark on your journey to the top of that mountain that you desired for so long. You should be strong enough now. The son however said: I heard too many reports about what I might see from the peak of that mountain, I think I do not need to go there anymore. I know it is up there, already.
What he did not say, was that he feared the pain and the efforts he needed to go through. He decided that he has a good enough impression of the peak view and there was no need to go through the pain and then only experience what he already knew.
People easily stride away from their wishes and goals when fear sneaks into their bones. Fear that comes from the overwhelming amount of challenges and known difficulties you need to go through. With every piece of information, you should weave in, every new challenge that arises and every risk you should consider, it feels like the original goal ahead of us gets less and less worthy to pursue. Reading so many books from successful people made me knowledge in many ways, but also gave me an impression of what it takes.
The world is full of information and stories of travelers who climbed up a specific mountain and now share their experiences and their knowledge with us. However, for the reader of their books, their experience becomes just information. Often times, people do not report about how the courage grew in them while they made their journey. So, we know that knowledge cannot replace experience. Experience goes deep, creates feelings and tells a completely other story. If the man would have climbed the mountain, he would have learned how much suffering he actually can take, how strong his willingness really can be and how it feels to stand on top of the mountain. He would be flooded with pride about what he achieved and would keep this outlook as a picture for his ability to overcome any problem in his mind. He would have been a stronger person – and that is different from just being more knowledgeable.
The key question is – what would have happened if he would not have asked people about their experience and advice? If he would just had asked how that feeling was to be on the top. Maybe he would have started with an intense desire to get up there, highly motivated, climbing up the first hours without problems. Later in the day he may have got first scratches from razor blade sharp rocks. He bleeds and has pain, but continuous on, with growing willingness to bring the already invested energy to success – whatever it takes. First doubts enter the mind. At one point there is a tricky chasm to cross, but has no idea how. It seems like he has to choose, taking a high risk climb with tired muscles. Or give up. Taking the risk may actually kill him. Giving up may kill his self-esteem for a long time. But overcoming the casm will result in victory that lasts forever! So, what to do?
I was once asked, how a consultant can become a trusted advisor. How can someone who has experience from earlier times reach a next level in providing not only information but advice to those who have less, or other experience? Often times consultants, subject matter experts and the like, provide good information. What is it you need to consider, what are best practices, where is the market trending towards, the 1000 things you need to consider to not fail.
When I was younger, I was convinced that I need to inform decision makers with all information available and list all the things that needed to be considered to reduce the risk of bad decisions. It was out of a good intention, enabling informed decisions. What I did not get at these days, that decisions are heavily influenced by emotion. Actually I believe that even the most rational people do final decision out of their feeling around it. When you tell a story that basically explains one thousand things that need to be done to be successful, and you transfer the message that success is a low chance occasion and chances are that we fail because of all these difficulties that we need to overcome – you might be technically correct, but you kill the motivation to even get started. And since no consultant in the world can imagine what happens, once people departed towards the top of the mountain, much of your warnings and information may just be invalid or not relevant.
Imagine the boy started to climb the mountain, and on his way up found a nice walkway by chance. He may have decided to follow this trail, which brings him to a beautiful mountain lake and he decided to settle there and become the first restaurant owner at this place. So plans changed on the way, and it might be good.
At the same time, you want to ensure that the boy does not get killed on the way up, so there are certainly warnings and pieces of information that must be shared to prevent really bad things from happening. You might want to warn the boy and talk about the chasm that he needs to cross. You tell him to take a rope with him and take a specific route at a certain place on the mountain, taking him to a place where he can easily cross the chasm, with rather low risk. The part with the rope is information that needs to be delivered before departing, while the part with the little detour is best timed, before he steps towards the edge of the chasm.
When you are in the position of receiving advice from experienced people, consultants, experts and people who know how to use search engines, you better do not listen to them when they start telling you about the one thousand things you have to get right to be successful. Here, you should ignore these experts to keep your energy for a departure. Typically, any success implies a certain level of pain and suffering, so no need to tell this. But: ask the expert about the 3 things you must know now to pack your backpack. What are the 3 fundamental risks and traps you must know now? And then take the consultant or expert with you. Ask: what would be the best now when you face the next challenge on your way. Then you should certainly listen to speed up decision making and find the optimal way up.
From the other side, as a consultant, I think I can become a trusted advisor when I manage to balance between support for informed decisions (reducing strategic risk), keeping motivation up and be there when things become hard. Providing advice continuously on the way (tactical decision making). I think it is about providing the right set of information at the right time. I personally do not believe that any consultant can become a trusted advisor when you come into a project – do your analysis – write your report – and go out. One shot reviews and proposals are great and can help, but real trust you can gain when you really are there when things get difficult once the journey started. And by the way, you do not need to be right all the time, as long as you are taking responsibility for what you suggest.